Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize