I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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