Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
