If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
