Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I pour the whiskey from now on
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
