If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize