You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
