I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
