I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
