I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
