TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
