why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
