singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
