Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
