Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
