You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
