I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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