I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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