my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
