New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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