he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
