Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This is my gift to your gina
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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