I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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