ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
