Fuck appropriateness.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
