i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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