I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
