Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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