cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I would ride that face into the sunset
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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