dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize