So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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