Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize