I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
