Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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