it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
