Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
please come you make the beer taste better
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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