so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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