..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
