i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
