I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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