He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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