Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
