So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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