Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My breasts were aching with rage.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
