i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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