I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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