Say something about gay babies.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
