awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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