yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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