sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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