he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
