You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
