You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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