I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
