just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
