I heard we made out
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think my fart just growled at me.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She made me pour olive oil on her.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
