so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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