how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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