low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
